Salam Lebaran....

A lovely card made by "hubby" for me... A simple wish for the "Aidilfitri". I wish we could celebrate it together...

As soon as I hear the "takbir" played on the radio, my hearts sinks. I was reminded how we used to celebrate the festival as kids. It felt so happy then. We would hear Mother nagging (not that she doesn't now...heheh!). We would all be so busy cleaning the house, hanging curtains, changing the sheets, decorating the house, preparing the dishes and cookies. There was so much to do. And, on the 1st day or Raya, we would wake up so early, shower, change into our new "baju", waits for all to be ready to start visiting. Father would have rented a car and we would go visiting till the wee hours the next day.

But now... a lot have changed. Our raya now seems much simpler. Like yesterday, Eizzy and I was cleaning up the place (kinda last minute) while Mother cooked. Finally, at around 9 pm, we all can start resting and watch all the shows on TV.

This morning, I woke up to only see my Mother at home, cos, Eizzy gotta work. After shower and breakfast, I went up to Mother and wish her "Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri" and apologises for all the wrongdoings I may have done in the past. And, we both cried.

Then, she and her family came with Father. I excused myself and went to the shop to get coffee powder. By the time I reached home, they already left. Frankly, I am still feeling angry over what she said and what she did, despite the forgiveness I had given since long ago. The words she said, still lingers.... Will I ever forget? I dunno, maybe... But not in the nearest future, I know...

Mother, I have to really apologise... I am hurt over the things they said and till now, the wound is still fresh. I know you are disappointed and sad that your daughters are not on speaking terms... But, this time... I'm not only hurt, it's piercing. I hope you'd understand!

Eizzy took time off, with the hope to go visit our maternal grandmother with Mother and me. But at the last minute, Mother claims that she is unwell. I knoe Eizzy very well... She is disappointed, but she won't say a word. The moment she is quiet, it meant she is angry but just did not want to prolong the matter. So, I ended up going to Nenek's house with Eizzy only... Tomorrow, going to Nenek Kallang's place and we'll see how our mood tomorrow before deciding where else we would be heading to...